Friday, March 09, 2007
02/2007: Hiring a car in the Dominican Republic - Don't! would be my initial advice...
Most holidaymakers in the Dominican Republic will have little cause or desire to leave the confines of their all-inclusive retreat, and for visitors wanting to see some more of this beautiful, scenic tropical island there are a wide range of good day trips available through tour operators.
For those contemplating hiring a car, it is definitely not for those with a nervous disposition and don’t even think about it unless you have some experience of driving in a no-holds-barred, foot-on-the-floor environment (and I mean Paris x 1000, not just an annoying traffic jam on the M25) and on shockingly-maintained potholed roads.
Road conditions on the island are notoriously appalling and there is no road etiquette, in fact some drivers will see it as their personal mission to run you off the road – when I lived on the island (about 2,000 years BT – Before Tourism) I often discussed with my Dominican colleagues why such lovely, laid back people turned into rabid, aggressive maniacs once behind a wheel; we concluded driving must be an unconscious psychological trigger for their pent-up stress – it affects both men and women so a surfeit of testosterone was ruled out.
Also bear in mind that the island is a big one and it could take a good three-to-four hours to get to your destination (don’t make the mistake of calculating driving distances based on UK average miles per hour) giving you very little time there before you return. Driving in the dark is not an option unless you really do have a death wish.
For example, if you are staying in Bavaro or Punta Cana and want to visit the capital Santo Domingo, it’s a good 4 hour drive passing through a couple of medium-sized towns with no signage and an then you’re faced with an almost impossible parking task in a concrete jungle, spaghetti junction-like city teeming with 3 million people, and twice as many cars, lorries, motorbikes, horses and donkey and carts.
If you are set on hiring a car and perhaps touring the island (there are still one or two non-all-inclusive hotels scattered around) then the following tips may help:
1. Buy a good map.
2. Study the map, taking great care over the neat red and blue roads.
3. Rip up the map and throw it away as those neat red lines bear NO resemblance to the chaotic, potholed mess that passes for a road system
4. Buy all the insurance that is on offer at the car rental company.
5. Learn the Spanish for “where is …..” or “which way to….”
6. Learn the Spanish for “I have a flat tyre” and where is the “Gomera” (tyre shop) of which there are many, for obvious reasons.
7. Learn not to flinch when a huge truck is bearing down on you on the wrong side of the road.
8. Learn not to be surprised when the car overtaking you on a blind bend is also being overtaken by another car.
9. Be aggressive - passive driving is not tolerated in the DR.
10. Develop a radar for potholes and road humps and learn to look in all directions at once for 360 degree overtaking.
11. If a policeman on a small motorbike hails you, don’t stop. If a policeman on a large motorbike hails you, stop and give him $20. Make sure you don’t have much more money in your wallet as he will extract this from you as well.
12. Forget all you ever learned about the highway code.
13. Have a passenger if possible to ask for directions; – road signs? Don’t make me laugh.
14. Stay in your sun lounger for 14 days.
Most holidaymakers in the Dominican Republic will have little cause or desire to leave the confines of their all-inclusive retreat, and for visitors wanting to see some more of this beautiful, scenic tropical island there are a wide range of good day trips available through tour operators.
For those contemplating hiring a car, it is definitely not for those with a nervous disposition and don’t even think about it unless you have some experience of driving in a no-holds-barred, foot-on-the-floor environment (and I mean Paris x 1000, not just an annoying traffic jam on the M25) and on shockingly-maintained potholed roads.
Road conditions on the island are notoriously appalling and there is no road etiquette, in fact some drivers will see it as their personal mission to run you off the road – when I lived on the island (about 2,000 years BT – Before Tourism) I often discussed with my Dominican colleagues why such lovely, laid back people turned into rabid, aggressive maniacs once behind a wheel; we concluded driving must be an unconscious psychological trigger for their pent-up stress – it affects both men and women so a surfeit of testosterone was ruled out.
Also bear in mind that the island is a big one and it could take a good three-to-four hours to get to your destination (don’t make the mistake of calculating driving distances based on UK average miles per hour) giving you very little time there before you return. Driving in the dark is not an option unless you really do have a death wish.
For example, if you are staying in Bavaro or Punta Cana and want to visit the capital Santo Domingo, it’s a good 4 hour drive passing through a couple of medium-sized towns with no signage and an then you’re faced with an almost impossible parking task in a concrete jungle, spaghetti junction-like city teeming with 3 million people, and twice as many cars, lorries, motorbikes, horses and donkey and carts.
If you are set on hiring a car and perhaps touring the island (there are still one or two non-all-inclusive hotels scattered around) then the following tips may help:
1. Buy a good map.
2. Study the map, taking great care over the neat red and blue roads.
3. Rip up the map and throw it away as those neat red lines bear NO resemblance to the chaotic, potholed mess that passes for a road system
4. Buy all the insurance that is on offer at the car rental company.
5. Learn the Spanish for “where is …..” or “which way to….”
6. Learn the Spanish for “I have a flat tyre” and where is the “Gomera” (tyre shop) of which there are many, for obvious reasons.
7. Learn not to flinch when a huge truck is bearing down on you on the wrong side of the road.
8. Learn not to be surprised when the car overtaking you on a blind bend is also being overtaken by another car.
9. Be aggressive - passive driving is not tolerated in the DR.
10. Develop a radar for potholes and road humps and learn to look in all directions at once for 360 degree overtaking.
11. If a policeman on a small motorbike hails you, don’t stop. If a policeman on a large motorbike hails you, stop and give him $20. Make sure you don’t have much more money in your wallet as he will extract this from you as well.
12. Forget all you ever learned about the highway code.
13. Have a passenger if possible to ask for directions; – road signs? Don’t make me laugh.
14. Stay in your sun lounger for 14 days.
# posted by hotelreviewer @ 10:53 am 
